HOOTERS AIR
By CHRIS BUNTING
May
6, 2003 -- IF blondes have more fun, then Hooters Air should be
a flying circus—both onboard Hooters girls and all three flight attendants sport
golden locks (you’ll have to judge who’s bleaching and who’s not). And don’t be
freaked out by the Hooters models’ orange prison jumpsuits as you board, the
tank-tops come out mid-flight.
Distractions: The best thing about Hooters Air is the comfortable headrest, making it easy to get to sleep—but good luck staying that way through the Hooters girl’s trivia contest blaring over the intercom (Psst! Here’s a hint: the first Hooters was built in 1983 in Clearwater, Florida).
The worst thing about the flight is the food. As if it isn’t cruel enough to offer nothing but vegetable snacks (a box of celery, tomatoes, and carrots), the flight attendants serve the vegan treats from an ice-filled Hooter’s wings bucket. What teases!
You can wash down the rabbit food with $4 beer, wine and spirits but I recommend ordering the enigmatic Hooter-aid—it’s chalk full of secret ingredients.
The Scene: Expect to find drunk and horny businessmen breaking out into “Hooters” chants every five minutes, wearing unbuttoned Hawaiian shirts, and debating what the best strip club is in Myrtle on cell phones that ring “La Cucaracha.”
Rewards: Nothing yet—but the Hooters restaurant gift-certificates you can win in the trivia contest and $10 autographed Hooter-girl shirts are reward enough.
Final Verdict: Between the orange drop-down oxygen masks matching the Hooters logo, half-naked centerfolds in the onboard HooterSports magazine, and a flight crew with body parts that can serve as floatation devices, Hooters Air is unashamedly tacky.
But if you give a hoot about class or peace and quiet on your way to Myrtle and you just can’t live without breasts for an hour and a half, buy a Maxim at the duty-free shop and board Continental.
HOOTERS AIR
(888) 359-4668
hootersair.com
Where to: Myrtle Beach from Newark.
The Damage: $159 one-way (Newark-Myrtle Beach).