Behind Closed Doors

Ladies and gentleman pay attention and settle in

All you dudes on the your bikes you can head to the right and just pedal in

And just park it wherever it’s gettin dark but whatever

Thanks to the heavenly weather we’ve been having

Everyone’s down for the gravity bong celebration

In the center of a pond in Croatia

I got the strong medication just for the throngs of the patients

From all the arrogant Americans to the wake and bake Jamaicans

Bacon cheese-burger take my order please no greece oh geez

Florida keys got some breezy enemies

Terminate the hurricanes and do some sermons on my knees

Reverend priest rabbi please

would you bless me had I sneezed

would you hate me if there’s yayo in my nasal cavities

good thing there’s not holy cow what the nut

can I comment on your butt

can I tell you why I like it Christina Milian or what?

Am I weird? Am I queer? Do I drink a lot of beer?

Yes no yes do I dress up like a girl in front of the mirror?

No I don’t, not that I won’t

If I’m really in the zone

If a hottie wants a cross-dressed redhead fedex’d to her home

I’m so fly

I can fly

Like a fly up in the sky

Wanna be fly just like I am

You can dial up my guy

609 . 555. 2759

I’m just subbing in some numbers for some supplemental rhymes

What’s it all mean? What’s it all about?

Why does Dick Cheney just cuss people out?

Why do the people who vote for G.W. live in a bubble and never find out?

Why are there cops? Why are they mean?

Why don’t they like to be nice to the teans?

Why do they stare grimace and glare?

Why don’t they ever try growing their hair?

Why they’re not cool, why they’re not down

Why don’t they come up with likable sounds? (sirens)

When they’re driving around?

I hop in the back of a cab with a mag-lite

Looking for the cash and the stash from the last night

Holla back baby doll even tho I hate it all

If you ever gave a call maybe we could save it all

Maybe you could shave it all

Better yet wax since

I’ve never seen stubble on the cover of a Maxim

Black sins tax me

Jesus help me

Cracked shins back splints

Me’s unhealthy

Make me wealthy Kelsey Grammer just

Give me half of what you made on Simpsons appearances

Oh no clearances? Walmart is a bargain bin

Right like the Model T Ford is a car again

You know I know another model T-yra banks

Anacondas on the Amazon by the banks

Come and holla at my college you can buy the danks

If you wanna win a war you gotta drive the tanks

If you outbid Cruise I’ll buy up the Hanks

If you kidnap Corey tie up Topang

I’m under the impression that I’m up on slang

I’ll fight you him you plus a couple of gangs

Oh did I say fight cause I meant out-write

Eliminate the of and I’m just out-sight

Get it? Exactly my flow is attractive

Girls wanna use me like I ooze pro-active

I have a knack for rapping vernacular

It’s just a fact and rather spectacular

Yes I’m immodest blessed with a goddess

Someone to help me along on my Odyssey

Definitely, someone as sexy as Penelope

Million shells by the sea

William Tell by the tree

I only like Busch I can spell with a C

Paris and I went to Versailles

Went out to dinner and I made her buy

She’s so rich she owns a lotta land

Can you believe I’m involved with a city in France?

On behalf of mankind we got nothing to say

To the girlfriends who call us up everyday

If you wanna make us happy make us lemonade

Then sell it on the street as a naked maid

Take my cape and crime-fighting gear

I feel like a third wheel with Bat and Spidey here

What am I doing? I’m bubblegum chewing

Vote for the W everyone’s ruined

Everyone’s oohing , everyone’s ah’ing

Everyone’s wondering “where is Bin Laden?”

Where is he hiding? When will we find him?

Everyone knows the republican’s lying

Look up at the sky look at God and Maude

Look at them lookin down at Rod and Todd

Listen to my Strat rock guitar

Laguna Beach knows where the hotties are

You can get it on to this song like you’re ’sposed to

Or sit by your lonesome while your ex’s ghost blows you

She’s not a ho she just gets a lotta rooster

I don’t take shots I just get a lot of boosters

Sittin on a cruiseship listenin to newshit

With Punky Bruster yeah I dumped Medusa

I got something new just to cure your blues

It’s a beautiful thing baby pour your booze

And if you don’t wanna drink that’s just fine with me

Memorize rewind and re-rhyme with me

Spend time with me

Amanda Bynes and me?

Two lovers deep in love in this time of need

CHORUS

When you close your refrigerator door

All your food, it just comes to life

And the milk says HEY!

And the butter says HOLLA!

But the left-over ravioli just says Hi

When you close your refrigerator door

All your food, it just comes to life

And the milk says HEY!

And the butter says HOLLA!

But the left-over ravioli just gets high

When you close your refrigerator door

All your food, it just comes to life

And the milk says HEY!

And the butter says HOLLA!

But the left-over ravioli pillow-fights