High 5

Salutations i am Christopher
you can call me Mr. Burns
like Homer's boss with the comb-across
no wait i'm thinking of a different boss
or a Donald Trump, would Macdonalds hump
Burger King in a slump if he's krunked
and he gotta whole bottle of the rum
with the Captain and his own oversized straw
fountain coke and white napkin?
it might happen take a light nap and
by the time you open up your eyes i'm right back in
meanwhile Wendy's in Fendi's sending a text message
to her boy Roy Rodgers the Dodgers moved back to Brooklyn
you're hooking up with Cookie Monster to make Oscar want you you monster
where the heck is the exit, my eczema's actin up
Accura's backin up, Dracula's snackin upon a sauna's inhabitants
who is hungry who's ravenous
who's attractive who's fabulous
next November i'm havin it
who remembers the Maverick?
i saw it in sixth grade and got in a fight
with two punks under Marketfair parking light
did i really think i was gonna get away with
rippin off 'My 1st Single' this way
it's pathetic but i can't get it out of my head there i said it
i need a credit or debit to online gamble i ramble
like Beenie Segal on Campbell's
if you can't handle my samples
then there's an ample examply
why i demand you dismantle
all of your cannons and camels
all you Afghanistan vandals
brandishing man-eating damage
i can withstand being famished
if you'll just hand me a sandwich
i got a man who can manage me
when my fans become manically
depressive obsessive compulsive
convulsive assault is the salt of the earth
and the demon that screams in the sea is at fault for the curse
shimmy shimmy coco puff
jimmy gimme broken stuff
i hope you're rough enough to puff with us
we're tough like coconuts
i rap my way for a living
from Black Friday to Thanksgiving
yo just joshing joking kidding
hitting on your sister knitting
if she'll knit me something pretty
i'll move back into the city
i wish all this being witty
got me chicks on prom comittee
bada bada Chandler Bing
sorry cell was silent didn't hear the ring
did you see the Ring or the Ringu?
while i have your attention did i mention that i sing to?
i think a hot name is Sickabod Sane
my first single this or Octane
yo no way this is way too weird
like a hangman's noose as a souvenir
i know a girl who plays NYU basketball
she's the hottest girl i know face ass & all
she should be in Hollywood at a casting call
even though she doesn't know that i'm like Hasselhoff
world famous yet nameless amidst hot girls yet still gameless
hey Mr. Daytripper save us O.J.'s invaded our Avis
he wants to raise the rates of all our rental cars and wait
didn't he work for Hertz? now my whole joke has been snurtzed
scientists gather observe
something happy has occurred
i've discovered F.U.'s really not a diss but half a verb
half a murder half a verdict
have an eggroll Mr. Goldstone
even though you never close homes
doesn't mean it's convenient to cheat with Peter
i'm leniant cause he's so dreamy believe me
even the best of us is as bad as the rest of us
we're all fags on a Septa bus reenacting the Exodus
i'm reciprocal biblical
typical lyrical content does not tend to make an appearance
in my lyrics you need clearance just to hear it
if you're near it you should fear it
i got leftover school spirit let me cheer it
we are the raiders mighty mighty raiders
everywhere we go people wanna know
who we are so we tell them
we are the raiders
let's bring it back to the beginning
Pennington basketball is winning
everything's great i'm in high school
it's '98 i'm insightful
it's so delightful to be in love but if she doesn't love me back
then life is still good
cause i got good grades i never got AIDS, run a sub-60 4
and i'm not from the hood
NFL NHL NBA Venue A Venu B Q.B.
MLB Avenue Q was amusing
Caleb stop Cooper from moving to Maui
it's sour that's the worst
it's cause you bought the sour Starburst stuck em in your purse
and forgot this verse is so long
like the war on Vietkong
does Strom Thurmond in a thong turn you on?
what if he was blonde? what is that wrong?
don't push me push a Push Pop mush cop
i just got a telegram
G. Dub's wife's hubby's dumb as stop

Chorus
She is 16 going on 17 and she wants to ride with me
She's so nifty she said 'come and get me, you can high 5 with me'
I am 22 going on 23 do you wanna ride with me?
i make music, extra super newshit, i don't make my beats on my P.C.