Libations

Once upon a time I went to NYU where the men like you like men like you. Where the men like me like Josie Woods and some 3rd Ave bars they should close for good. Cause the freshman girls are the most attractive most pro-active most dramatic coke addicts. Just joking my flow is nomadic. It just travels the globe with no static. I sleep nude on the road with no mattress. Eat dirt for desert a whole cactus. I'm weird like Zeus' beard like a hangman's noose as a souvenir. Like the lack of a snare in Shady's ear. Like the story of an orphaned baby deer. I'm Disney magic with fifty habits i spit like Rabbit just strictly cabbage. It's sick not average put my chick in a cab and just send her uptown and put that shit on my tab. Bout to stick in an ad in the New York Times: single white male is a dork who rhymes. Sittin on his porch with his porcupine. Lookin for a girl who can sorta kinda ease my mind but keep in mind i'm not standard. Candor & ebb can't stand my candor. Look up in the van you're on Candid Camera. Hand me a can i'll light the candle. Crowd in my crib like Bam Margera's it's a brand new era no more wearin New Era's with the stickers on the bill that's a fashion error while the six o'clock news causes mass hysteria. Most of what they say is just meant for scarin ya: orange level red level bad scenario. You don't want to think about it grab your stereo. Listen to the old rock bands with hair that goes down to the ground they're too down to care but oh, listen to the words all you girls too scared to go. CHORUS Come have libations with me. Won't you come and vibe with me. Won't you come imbibe with me. Don't you want to show me a good time? Even though i am who i am. Once upon a time i went to NYU where the men like you like men like you. Where the average student's got a bag of nujents and a nagging roommate who attacks his roommates and a girl down the hall whom he always calls after he crawls through his hall when he's drunk as balls. It's just the norm in the dorm mkay? Like any other brother's university. So i matriculated for a couple of years times two got through with a couple of beers times two thousand plus a cup of my tears got new housing for a couple of years. I stayed in Hayden raged and played Raiden stayed in touch with neighbor Jim Raven. Same old scene right down to Weinstein the girls are 19 they know that i'm mean and i like em lean like Mary Kate dude. I serenade my baby with her own toothpaste tube pretending it's a microphone in the bathroom mirror when my folks aren't home. Oh yikes holy shnikes i expose my secrets those who can't keep it will know to leak it. Tell both of the Olsens that i'm compulsively kissing both their posters before i go to sleep. Haha yeah. LA LOL i'm rolling on the floor while i say hello. IM on the cell while i'm by myself. Tryin to write a rhyme to supply my wealth. Trying to devise the kind of rhyme the kind of guys at the label want to find and buy. Is that so much to ask? We go half and half when we cut the grass cause my yard is large and it eases the burden. My poppa cuts half then he gives me the word and then i go out back and i finish the job up. I finna fiend Beam from the minute i got up. I live the same life anyone would choose. I write songs right wrongs and i like to booze. I'm not the same so if my rap is hated cause i went to private school and i graduated so be it good idea let's sustain the norm and refuse to acknowledge college rap was born. Let's accept that the hood has exclusive rights to a form of expression let's lose the fight cause i don't want to help improve the mission of rap i'd rather sit back and relax and just listen to crap. Another gun song oh good that's so smart. Let's promote gun violence disguised as art. I don't understand why the hip hop community endorses firearms every opportunity. They act like Bush isn't down with them. He let's them hold their automatics they should bow to him. I get mad when i rap about how rap is now ever since rap went out. So let us proceed to imbibe hard liquor. It will make us forget what i just said quicker. I wish i didnt have to rap but my singing's worth a half a crap i'm gonna hate this rap in a week, half-assed and week it's hopeless (can opens) oh hey CHORUS