STRETCH MARKS
from One Solution #4, 1985
OS: How come you guys aren't at Maple Leaf Wrestling tonight?
Bill: Ya we're pissed that we had to miss it, but a gig is more important than going to see wrestling.
OS: You could have made it. It's at 8 p.m.
B: Ya, but we're not the type of band who, you know, we like to see who we're playing with and meet the people. We won't walk in and start playing like rock stars -- that's bullshit.
Dik: Shit, I thought maybe we could catch the Leafs. I didn't know wrestling was tonight. But we're playing. And we're ultimately just as satisfied.
OS: So what are the Stretch Marks all about?
Dik and Mark: About ... about 5' 10, 170 pounds.
D: We're about what we're doing right now. The music, having fun, about meeting people. About going on tour. We're not a big political band. We say what we have on our minds. We don't let anybody try to tell us what we should say. We're just four easy-going guys and one manager who sometimes plays ...
B: Accordian! [laughter]
OS: So what do you think of your [Dik] beautiful mug shot on the cover The Leading Edge?
D: I thought that was a great photo. I don't want to be gumbo about the whole thing but I was really surprised to see it. Blew it up 10X10. [laughter]
OS: So what are your songs about?
D: We try to touch on everything. We don't try to close it down to all political, or all anti-this or anti-that. We try to deal with what goes on around us, what we deal with every day.
B: We talk about a lot of social issues too. Like rape, child abuse, things that I don't think a lot of the bands talk about too much.
D: Plus we have our fun songs like "Turnbuckle Stomp," which is about wrestling -- our wrestling anthem. Every song has its own meaning. It's things that we can relate more to. There doesn't have to necessarily be an answer. About a solution to how you can solve that problem.
B: No offence guys, but there is no "one solution." [laughter]
OS: How old are you guys?
D: I was 24 yesterday.
OS: Well happy birthday. What did they give you?
Kel: I bought him a milk and a sundae.
D: At Dairy Queen. Fuck that.
OS: So, do you eat donuts?
[they all run off their favourite flavours and donut shops]
K: I like eating fish but I hate catching it.
B: Our grandfather used to fish. Right up to his dying days.
K: We had to take him out all the time so I guess I was discouraged. We're gnarly golfers.
D: Golf tough or go home.
K: No, we're a wrestling band this year.
OS: Do you have golf songs?
Mark: No, just a few slogans. Everywhere we went people would say do you surf or skate? No, we golf.
OS: Where are you going after this?
M: Wawa! [laughter]
B: We've got shows right through November. Like 45 city tours till Christmas.
K: As many places as we can find in between.
OS: So how much do you guys hate the Exploited?
All: Aaaaaaaahhhhh.
B: Let me count the ways.
OS: What's the story with them playing in Winnipeg?
B: They borrowed the local bands' stuff and started smashing it up. They're real fuckin dickheads.
K: I kinda expected something like that. It was no great surprise to me. Anarchy chaos and destroy.
M: Kids want to do something creative usually. Not destroy.
D: Like you said before, you lose a show like Husker Du, AOF, FU's cause no tickets are sold. But you get a fuck band like the Exploited who can sell $10 tickets real fast. And what d'ya see? A guy telling you to fuck off.
OS: What are your views on anarchy?
B: I don't think it would work.
K: I like the idea of passive anarchism. But when it's living off the land, I don't know.
D: If the government broke down, and you had anarchy in the streets, how long would you have anarchy in the streets for?
OS: You'd have somebody else grabbing the power.
D: You'd just have "democracy" again. You'd vote for Mr. Anarchy or Mr. Non-Anarchy.
K: It's good in the sense that you're always questioning authority.
OS: What was it like going down to the States? What was the reaction to a Canadian band?
D: Well, the best way I heard it described was, "Oh, what's this? Oh, a band from Canada, eh? Well, let's just see what they can do."
OS: Didn't they ask you where your skis were?
D: We just brought our wool socks. That shocks the hell out of them. "What kind of socks are those?"
B: They see the plug hanging out of the van and think it's for an electric blanket.
M: Frost shields.
OS: What's it like playing to the crowds in California in such amounts?
D: They're big, but there isn't much difference, like attitudes.
B: There are the same kind of concerns, and in-scene hassles.
D: The border doesn't separate a whole lot when it comes down to talking to somebody.
OS: What do you think about the problem of minors not getting into some shows?
B: We had people in Winnipeg phoning us up and saying, "hey, where are you playing in Toronto? I'm 16 and I wanna get in." We try to get underage shows as much as possible, but sometimes we just can't line things up. We'll play an all age show as opposed to a 21 and over show. I've heard of places where they mark your hand and then you can drink, but without it you can't.
OS: Do you guys fish?
K: I hate fishing.
M: Me and Mitch (ex-Personality Crisis) just went fishing.
B: Me and Kel are brothers and we have a cottage up at the lake. Our lake has been long since fished out I think. Actually, there's one bay where you can get some wicked perch.
D: Mitch is the master angler. I think he puts blue cheese on the end of his rod. That's how he catches them.
BACK to Stretch Marks page
KILL FROM THE HEART Home