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FUCK MY SHIT STINKS Sittin on the pot on Tuesday mornin Readin bout the war in Lebanon A car bomb killed 3 yankees in Rome But I got a bigger problem and its closer to home chorus: Oh fuck my shit stinks Holy fuck'n moly my shit stinks Argh fuck billy my shit stinks Maybe there's something wrong with my diet I had a case of beer and couple of tacos You know I feel like Johnny Cash Going down in that ring of burning fire Well all my friends like heavy metal But I've always been partial to polkas While they're all playin their air guitars I'm fartin along with the booming tubas FUCK SATAN TO DEATH Jesus is my savior and satan must die This is the end ready for death Reaper is near pity the damned Lucifer's lust has got out of hand Let's fuck him up by fucking his ass Rear out his tail pull out his horns Send the fucker where he belongs Send the mother back to his hole Let's take him out and slip him the pole It's easier said than easier done The battle's over and we have won Snuff out his life and have the last laugh 'Cause we've got jesus here in the band DRAGONS You created your character But your destiny is ruled by the die of six You're standing at the edge of churning black water A tributary of the river Styxx I am the master of this world I could have the earth devour you where you stand You exist for my pleasure You'll soon wish you never stepped into my dungeon Clutching hands grab at your legs They pull you down underground You draw your sword, recoil in horror The serpent's venom takes its toll I am the master of this world I'll have my fun with you One by one your lives are coming to an end You'll soon wish you never stepped into my dungeon You're the last alive and you've lost your never You turn and run you might survive You need a way to leave this plain You'll lose your soul if you remain You see a door no time to lose Kick it down and run right through You step into a glowing cavern Suddenly you hear a voice I am the master of this world You're all fools if you think you can escape You're in this 'till the end Look around see what you have to fight Dragons |
HIDE THE HAMSTER Well Billy is a boy who has a few ideas of his own He has a habitrail maze with 35 hamsters in his home He takes them to the disco where everybody loves him They cover them with neet and wash them down so they are nice and clean Then yank their teeth and pull their claws and dip the little rodents in vaseline They all have habitrail tubes stuck firmly up their asses chorus: And they all sing oho oho hide the hamster They dance around on the dance floor From each shaking ass hangs a twitching little tail The hamsters last abut five minutes And their death throes bring the dancers They shoot their wads together dead hamsters up their asses Each hamster has an orgasm at the very instant of its death So each person grabs a straw to feltch their partner's asshole of the sperm They all have habitrail tubes stuck firmly up their asses THE SPAWN OF YOG SOTHOTH The beast he exists The beast on the astral plane The beast he has the ability to enter our universe The beast psionic attack The beast chaotic evil The beast highly intelligent and unpredictable The beast gaping cunts The beast pulsing penis The beast in this shape he'll mate with mankind to create his spawn The spawn they will breed The spawn with human beings The spawn they will turn the world into man's worst nightmare The beast he will rule The beast o're his spawn The beast they will be his servants in a burning world of doom The beast 400 hit points The beast strength 25 The beast charisma -7 if you meet his eye you'll die The beast multiple attack The beast monk bard nil The beast giant mass of legs feelers and stalked organs SHRED CENTRAL Don't need this crap this TV's pushing I'm just gonna get my skate and hit the streets I know a place not far from here Where I can ride a gnarly bowl and get some air Ain't gonna be like my parents Rottin' away in easychairs Ain't got no time for sunday football Or watching cartoons after school Where you gonna go - shred central Whatcha gonna do - grinders Whatcha gonna say - "like, where's the bowl, dude?" Where you gonna go - shred central Whatcha gonna do - ollies Whatcha gonna say - "bitchin' hawk, jak" Do a heavy slam knees gushing blood But I'll just get back on my skate and carve the tiles I'll try an invert with a rippin' handplant But I might have to send away for a new pair of surfpants "Hey you kid..city police skateboard squad 35 dollar fine, skating in public... you're busted! "screw you, mister!" Where you gonna go - shred central Whatcha gonna do - face plant Whatcha gonna say - "nice lipstand, cowboy" Where you gonna go - shred central Whatcha gonna do - rock 'n roll slider Whatcha gonna say - "bitchin' hawk, jak" "Later, skater" |
DRUGGED AND DRIVING It was a quarter to twelve and we were rocking I put my money on the bar, I heard the devil knocking We played some drinking games while the band was thrashing And a fight broke out so we gave the place a trashing When the cops showed up I had to eat all my drugs A couple of the guys got the kiss their billy clubs The rest of us got out through the basement door I ran to the back and i dove into my car chorus: We were drugged Drugged and driving We got away clean but I was feeling kind of strange I just ate 25 speeders and I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins like a burning fire straight to my brain and then to tires of the car I was driving at sixty miles an hour I stepped on the gas and went with the power screaming like an angel of the devil my friends are in the back and we're headed straight for hell When you're on our roads you better keep on your toes 'cause we're gonna get you into our sights we're gonna track you down 'cause we're the demons of the underground caverns of lucifer and when we get you under our hooves we'll trample you into the dirt and tear your soul from your broken carcass and deliver it unto our lord HERE TODAY, GUANO TOMORROW Bill and Tammy Bakker were messengers of God and the Bank of America Tammy sprays on some makeup, pops some downers and says this must be heaven Jim is in the bedroom converting hookers on a mattress full of money Meanwhile another 1000 people make their beds with death and misery and starvation chorus: They were here Here for today But they'll be guano Guano tomorrow Now it's Reverend Fallwell's church and he has the need for a little more money It will cost a lot to eliminate rock and stamp out the international threat of communism Mister Reagan and Gorbachev will let us fight like animals in a barnyard While they play the roles of the farmer the butches, the distributor, and the consumer The world is full of humanitarians killing each other for a piece of the human pie Where everybody is right and nobody is wrong and many are downtrodden These people call me a cretin 'cause i get a little spittle in their eye And they don't care much for us Dayglos sittin' around and toasting to the end of time We are here Here for today But we'll be guano Guano tomorrow KILL JOHNNY STIFF We got gigs over here we got gigs over there We got gigs everywhere we ain't playin' nowhere Kill Johnny Stiff do it now Kick him in the head stamp him in the ground Kill Johnny Stiff wreck his life Cut his balls off and feed them to pitbulls Don't like this green pants don't like his paisley shirt Don't like ripoff shithead promoters we got a message for you We're not your band Rape Johnny Stiff do it now Fuck him up the ass piss in his mouth Rape Johnny Stiff feed him guano Shred his dick give him a barbwire catheters Bend over, I'll drive Kill Johnny Stiff do it now Kick him in the head stamp him in the ground Kill Johnny Stiff wreck his life Cut his balls off as payment to the bands Die, Stiff |