PARADISE FOUND

By CHRIS BUNTING

November 2, 2004 -- UNLIKE Edward Norton’s drug-dealing character in “25th Hour” -- who tries to change his life for the better in the short time before serving a seven-year prison sentence -- convicted felon Martha Stewart chose a different route.

Facing five hard months in Camp Cupcake, the Domestic Diva slipped into a sexy red, leg-revealing swimsuit and partied in The Bahamas.

How's that for a celebrity endorsement?

But the island commonwealth, 50 miles off the coast of Florida, has even more to brag about. First, the parsimonious airlines we all love have will start flying non-stop between New York and Nassau in the next few months, making travel easier than ever. JetBlue’s service started yesterday ($99 oneway/JFK), Song starts Dec. 1 ($99ow/JFK), and Spirit will begin Jan. 10 ($89ow/LGA). Previously, flights to the Bahaman capital were a ridiculous $200+ow.

Second, The Bahamas is once again becoming quite the Hollywood darling. Big-budget films “After the Sunset” (Pierce Brosnan) and “Into the Blue” (Jessica Alba) were filmed here as well as an upcoming Billy Zane indie feature “Three”. The Bahamas hasn’t seen major Hollywood players since 1965 when it hosted the shooting of the James Bond classic “Thunderball.”

You see, early last century, The Bahamas became a swanky retreat for high-rollers and rich celebs. But unfortunately, starting in the 1970s, developers came into Nassau and its close bridge-attached neighbor, Paradise Island, chopped away palm trees and threw up tacky high-rises, cheesy resorts and bargain gem-shops everywhere, creating a landscape that would have even offended the sensibilities of the pirates who hung here in the 1700s.

But in the ‘90s, when the ultra-lux Atlantis resort opened on Paradise Island, the Bahamas began to reverse this ugly trend, ready to reclaim its swanky days of yore. And now with the budget fliers on board and the availability of renovated and affordable digs, clubs and restaurants, the rest of us can enjoy the Bahamas’ booming Renaissance, too.

BEFORE YOU GO

No need to stress out. Hurricanes Frances and Jeanne did most of their damage in the area to Grand Bahamas and Great Abaco islands—if you stay in the Nassau/Paradise Island area you won’t find much more than the occasional water stain or two.

GETTING AROUND
Negotiating New Providence (the island Nassau is on) and Paradise Island is a cake walk. Jitneys will take you between the two in minutes for a buck ($USD accepted everywhere), or rent a scooter for $50/day on average.

WHAT TO DO
The cacophony of “beeps” and “boops” you’ll hear on Paradise Island is coming from the luxurious Atlantis resort, the largest casino in the Caribbean, which offers 980 state of the art slot machines (Leo DiCaprio and Julia Roberts have both trolled its floors).

It also has 78 gaming tables for Caribbean stud poker, roulette, craps, high-limit Baccarat, and blackjack (Martha was up $200 on the floor when she was here). Gaze around the casino, which is built over the resort property’s 7-acre lagoon (the only one in the world that hovers over a body of water), and you’ll discover Atlantis’ emphasis on cool design: huge skylights that bring in gorgeous tropical sunlight and glass sculptures by artist David Chihuly that adorn the floor.
If you want to up the stakes, how ‘bout a little swimming with sharks, old chum? (Pun very intentional.) Stuart Cove’s Dive (Southwest St., South Ocean, Nassau) will take you on a series of shark dives. For $125, swim around the finned set while they feed off the coral reefs.

They raped, pillaged, and had more female groupies than Derek Jeter -- pirates were definitely the rock stars of the world 300 years ago. Come celebrate their dominance over the ancient Caribbean at the kiddie-favorite, Pirates of Nassau (Marlborough and George St). It’s a museum where kids can explore a pirate ship, watch the last moments of an unfortunate soul forced to walk the plank, and actually take home a bit of history.

Did you even know there were 200 species of palm trees? At The Retreat (Village Rd, Nassau) you can see them all in an 11-acre pristine garden. You’ll guide yourself around—$2 to get in, $1 for kids.

NIGHTLIFE

Love ‘em or hate ‘em (or really hate ‘em) the Baha Men can be found hanging out at Nassau’s highly energetic Club 601 (601 East Bay Street). Let your inner dog out for a $15 cover charge, ladies free on Thursdays.

Regular Janes and Joes morph into rabid party animals at Zoo (West Bay Street at Saunders Beach), Nassau’s largest nightclub. It’s got six different bars, five environmentally themed rooms with multiple DJs and a VIP lounge. It’s open until 4 am, with a pricey cover of $20.

Chase a slice from Sbarros with a few watermelon martinis next door at the funky Fluid Lounge (in the Kings Court Building on Bay Street). DJ Pat will supply the tunes, just dress nice and be over 25.

DINING

Jean-Georges Vongerichten's cutting edge Dune, the restaurant at the Ocean Club resort in Paradise Island, is where a sarong-wrapped Martha was spotted gnawing on an egg-white omelet and a croissant with jam. Sounds yummy but meals here tend to be a bit pricey.

For cheaper eats, head to Nassau’s Chinese restaurant Double Dragon (Bridge Plaza Commons on Mackey St,); meals start at $8. The Cantonese fare is mild but the spicy Szechwan dishes will give you dragon’s breath.

With the grinning reptiles adorning the walls, live music, and gorgeous views, the Crocodile Waterfront Bar & Grille (E. Bay St, by the bridge) is a must see for genuine Bahamian food. Conch, teriyaki tuna, and grilled lobster are just some of the sea-creatures for you to devour. Dishes start at $11.

SHOPPING

The Bahamas experienced tragedy as well in 2001 when fire ripped through its famed Straw Market (at Bay Street and Market in Nassau), but the government has since rebuilt it. Here, tourists can pick up cheap little knickknacks, souvenirs, and straw baskets woven by local women—think of it as a one-stop-shop for thoughtless, last minute gifts you promised to give loved ones back home (but beware the herds of cruise ship goers).

For more serious upscale shopping, you’ll want to stay in Nassau—just run from the pushy peddlers. Bling addicts should hit up Solomon’s Mines (named for the 50’s movie about a wife looking for her hubby in Africa) on Bay Street. $50,000 watches are for sale, alongside rare African diamonds and china you won’t find stateside.

For the men who only packed cruise wear, burn your cheesy Hawaiian shirt and $2 flip-flops and head for Barry’s Limited (Bay and George Streets). Here you’ll find blazers and garments made from English cashmere. For women’s wear, try Cole’s of Nassau for classy dresses, casual sportswear and designer purses (Parliament St.).

WHERE TO STAY

Decisions, decisions. Should you stay where the domestic diva shacked up, at the exclusive Ocean Club resort, you could pay upwards of $1,275/night. Of course, there’s always Atlantis’ Bridge Suites which cost $25,000/night. Hmm.

For rooms slightly less Porsche-priced, stay at the modest and pink Buena Vista Hotel in Nassau (Delancy and Augusta Sts); doubles start at $65/night. Only caveat, it lies above a restaurant.

Another comfy yet cheapie is the Ocean Spray Hotel, close to the beach on W. Bay Street in Nassau. Winter rates start at $78/night and its on-site bar Europe is good for a nightcap.

INFO: www.bahamas.com