ON THE SIDE

By CHRIS BUNTING

October 17, 2006 -- (1) Progreso
        When moneyed Meridans need beach, will travel, they turn to the northern port town of Progreso (now with cruise ships), only a half-hour away up highway 261. The surf’s not exactly the clearest on earth, but the sand is white, and the locally caught seafood served along the boardwalk is as cheap as it is tasty.

        Get there: North up highway 261
        
        (2) Celestun
        The flamingo-to-man ratio can be a very Hitchcockian 3 to 1 in this fishing village 60 miles southwest of Merida. Guided boat tours around the river they flock to are the most popular with visitors. Stay in a bungalow at the Eco Paraíso, an environmentally friendly hotel sponged up in a grove of dwarf palm trees across from the beach (doubles from $144/night; ecoparaiso.com).

        Get there: Take the Periferico Uman, continue on to Kinchil and then west on highway 281 onto Celestun
        
        (3) Chichen Itza
        You think Steinbrenner’s a dick? Had A-Rod choked while playing ball in this famed city of ruin’s Juego de Pelota (ball-court) years ago, decapitation would have been the price. Of course, if he played well, decapitation was still the price. It’s a Mayan thing. Check it out and the several other ancient ruins - the most famous being El Castillo pyramid - scattered about this archeological site (there’s a Disneyland-esque light show at night). Even more ruins to be had on the site of the posh Hacienda Chichen Resort (from $145/night; haciendachichen.com).

        Get there: East on the toll road, highway 180
        
        (4) Campeche
        Caution: you are now entering a no-eye patch zone. As evidenced by the cannons, fortified walls and underground refugee tunnels, the people here used to be pirate-phobic - with good reason after being attacked several times by Francis Drake and the ilk. These days, Campeche’s biggest problem is keeping the shark lasagne in stock as its restaurants’ reputation for excellent seafood continues to spread. Stay at the very orange, very luxurious hacienda Puerta Campecha (doubles from $240/night; haciendasmexico.com). 

        Get there: Two hours south on highway 180
        
        (5) Uxmal
        Chaac, the Mayan god of rain, was the Donald Trump of his time, putting his face on every temple and pyramid. The ruins - the Nunnery Quadrangle, House of the magician, and Governor’s Palace are the highlights - comprise a World Heritage site; maybe the best in the Yucatan. The coral walls and Hol Be Spa makes the 28-room Hacienda Temozon a perfect crash site (from $TK/; haciendasmexico.com).  

        Get there: Go 50 miles southwest on highway 261