Don't be retarded. Maple syrup is so beloved because it’s nothing more than liquid sugar  — delicious, delicious sugar (sucks for you, ketchup). And this love affair with the saccharine sauce brings addicts out in droves for the Feb-April "sugaring season"; anti-carb diets be damned.

For those unfamiliar with how to celebrate, revelers come to watch or even participate in the "sugaring" — a process in which sap is sucked out of maple trees via taps and turned into syrup.

Raw sap only has a small amount of sugar (less than 2%), so producers have to remove a good majority of its water, leaving behind a more sugary concoction which is then boiled. Before long, bam, you have pancake-ready syrup.

And the money made in syrup industry is no short stack — we’re talking hundreds of millions of dollars each year. In 2004, New England produced 934,000 gallons of the stuff.

Wanna get in on the action? We’re surrounded by myriad sugar cabanas, sugar shacks, sugar houses and sugar shanties. Here’s five we’re super sweet on, all within driving distance.

BLUE HERON, Charlemont, MA

Steer clear, diabetics. This 140-acre working farm — perched in the wooded serenity of a small Massachusetts town two hours west of Boston — produces up to 800 gallons of maple syrup each season.

The syrup is all organic (meaning chemical-free and extracted with minimal damage to the tree) and prepared by the happy hippie Norma, one of only a small minority of female sugar makers in the biz. Come help her and her husband with the chores, or just hang with the Norwegian Fjord horses she breeds.

Lodging here comes in four fully-furnished flavors: a log cabin, an apartment attached to the sugarhouse, a three level cottage and a modern houses with a 2-car garage.

INFO: From $190/two nights, blueheronfarm.com; (413) 339-4045

NORTH HADLEY SUGAR SHACK, Hadley, MA

THE menu at this farm-situated restaurant has a not-so-subtle theme: local strawberries, local zucchini, local milk and local eggs. But nothing holds a candle to its local maple syrup, made right on site.

The farming Boisvert brothers behind the Sugar Shack — open daily from mid-February through April — have been making maple syrup since they were teens. Besides feasting on a pile of pancakes drenched in their long-perfected syrup, guests are encouraged to take a tour of the farm’s sugaring facilities. While you’re there, pick up one of their $35 jugs of syrup (or order it online when you get home).

You can’t sleep at the farm, so mosey on over to Garden of Delights B&B, a quaint 19th century farmhouse near plenty of hiking trails and literally 2 miles away ($100/night; ecommunityguide.com/brochures/gardenofdelights).

INFO: (413) 585-8820, northhadleysugarshack.com

Le FERME MARTINETTE, Quebec, Canada

Purists say that true maple syrup can only come from Canada (up there, it’s called "liquid gold"). Le Ferme Martinette, in Quebec’s Eastern Townships, is an option for them.

Besides being your run-of-the-mill working farm stay (where guests can milk cows, play with goats, and gain 50 pounds after eating the hearty home-cooked meals), Le Ferme and its 3,000-tap sugarbush produces a vast array of maple syrup and maple-related products (taffy, lollipops, you name it). You’re free to help out as little or as much as you want.

You’ll stay in a country house B&B built in the 1800s, two miles away from the farm’s hubbub, but still on the property, so peace and quiet is easily had.

INFO: From $65/night including breakfast; (888) 881-4561, lafermemartinette.com/english/visit.html

VERMONT MAPLE FESTIVAL, St. Albans, VT

The Vermont Maple Festival — now on its 40th go-round this year — runs April 28 through the 30th in St. Albans, a curious lakeside town named for a Roman soldier executed for sheltering a priest, and where the northernmost battle of the Civil War took place.

The fest offers up the usual suspects: a parade, carnival, face painting, crafts and fiddlers. But the locals’ obsession with all things maple makes it unique. There’s a Maple King and Queen contest, pancake breakfasts galore, maple cooking classes and sugarhouse tours. And why not? Maple syrup production accounts for more than $225 million for Vermont each year.

Stay at the punny yet charming Back Inn Time B&B, a restored 19th-century Victorian mansion — now with WiFi — located right downtown (from $85/night, backinntime.us)

INFO: vtmaplefestival.org

CHIMNEY HILL, Rhinebeck, NY

Larry Longo isn’t modest about his maple syrup: "It’s the best this side of Mississippi," he’s oft quoted as saying. Over-hyped or is he right on? Syrupers can judge for themselves at Larry’s Chimney Hill Farm upstate in Rhinebeck.

INFO: (845) 266-5543