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The Matrix Reloaded, Part I

For all the criticism I've read of The Matrix Reloaded--and, as everyone with two fingers and an internet connection has already weighed in, there's plenty of it--I have yet to hear any kind of agreement as to why, exactly, it was so much worse than the first.

Oh, there's a few points raised with some frequency (the "Spring Break 2029" Zion rave scene, along with everything else in Zion, was too long; the CGI in the Burly Brawl looked fake beyond the first dozen Agents Smith; the music during fight scenes or over the credits was bad), but really, all these detractions are minor, the kind of thing that couldn't sink an otherwise good movie. What then was so wrong with Reloaded? The arguments I've seen can, more or less, be shoehorned into two categories: 1) it's lost its cool, or 2) it's lost its smarts.

The first type of criticism I've seen is exemplified here, a "just folks" kind of article that presents a laundry list of complaints as to why Reloaded is no longer edgy enough for the average 16-year-old. The author's points range from fair to trivial to eye-rollingly stupid--for instance, he complains that the Burly Brawl lacked all drama, and could have had its tension heightened if, say, Neo has to protect the Oracle from the Smith Brigade. This would be a fine suggestion if not for the inconvenient fact the Oracle is called the goddamn "Oracle" for a reason. She would have little motivation to stick around that park when she knows it?s about to be invaded by a hive of Hugo Weavings.

It isn't really worth it to debate the validity of each of the author's 8 complaints; you can determine their value for yourself. More important is the author's smug, "I could write a better movie script than this" attitude, reflected most obviously in point #7 ("this is Basic Narrative Strategy 101"), though it comes across in the senseless and rather weak jokes tacked onto the end, along with the author's self-applied description: "Philip Graham is a novelist and short-story writer who teachers narrative writing to graduate and undergraduate students. He'd be more than happy to add a remedial class for filmmakers to his busy schedule."

Well, congratufuckinglations, Mr. Graham. You're a novelist whose books are out of print and oh so close to cracking the 760,000 sales rank at Amazon.com. I don't know the Wachowskis personally, but if I ever run into them, I'll be sure to pass along your credentials and willingness to help.

But I digress.

The second method of critique can be found in (imagine this) The New Yorker. It is, of course, much longer and "deeper," delving into the possibile inspiration of Philip K. Dick and various philosophers while attempting to break down why we all loved The Matrix so much. What I'm interested in, however, is the odd implication that Reloaded has somehow sold out: that the Merovingian is French and of dubious morality should be taken to mean, evidently, that the Wachowskis tailored the script to capture their own robust patriotism and new-found hatred for our war-shunning "ally."

This insinuation is ignorant at best and, at worst, it's cynically manipulative. The author himself seems to know the Merovingians are French and the preservers of Christ's lineage (he meanwhile goes out of his way to make a sneering joke at the Wachowskis' own knowledge), so how can he claim Reloaded's depiction of such a Frenchman is tainted by our own foreign policy? And in his busy schedule of being condescending towards a pair of filmmakers who by all accounts know their shit, has he somehow missed the obvious conclusion the Brothers W are moderately to awesomely liberal? As if it's coincidence they've concluded each of the first two movies with Rage Against the Machine songs--or that, during the Architect's speech on how he had to include the horrible and the evil in the Matrix, the TV screens illustrating man's inhumanity to man flash an image of George W. Bush. I'm certain the Wachowskis' budget was that damn big so they could afford all the miniature American flags they needed.

While they differ in focus, what both these articles share is a willingness to level unfounded attacks at the Matrix Reloaded, going so far as to ignore or contradict the facts in their desire to justify their disappointment in the movie. At this point, it's hard to determine whether such attacks are justifiable--or whether they're symptomatic of problems that stem not from Reloaded itself, but from some other source altogether.

Anyway, I'm starting to sound like an ass, so it's time to go watch the Simpsons and get back to this later.