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I used to write these things in Cyrillic characters first because they look so cool, but it takes too long and these speeches are getting more lengthy as I learn more vocabulary and grammar. And you can't read the Cyrillic anyway. For these reasons, I will henceforth write a grammatically correct English translation and then a literal English translation that retains the Russian syntax and grammar. I think it'll work better this way, especially because the literal translation into English will sometimes be completely unintelligible (English doesn't use cases, after all).

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Here's the really good (read: goofy when translated literally into English) one I added on 1/31:

I would like to live in an old, beautiful city. I like narrow streets, because they are interesting and often they don't have many cars. I never like a lot of cars. I like when there is a theater, an orchestra, a good library, and many musicians in the city. Maybe I will live in a European city, or in a city similar to New York.

I wish to live old, beautiful city. I like narrow streets, because they interesting and often them no cars. I never not like many cars*. I like when city there is and theater, and orchestra, and good library, and many musicians**. Possible to be, I will to live European city, or city similar New York.

*Yes, double negatives are necessary in Russian.
**Also, Russians insert an "and" at the beginning of a series.


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I had an interesting Thanksgiving. I was in New York, not at home. Minnesota is very far away, and plane tickets are expensive. In the morning I saw the big Macy's Parade, and later I ate bread and apple pie with my neighbors. In the evening I talked to my family on the phone. My family was in Minnesota. I will go to Minnesota in December.

Of me was interesting Thanksgiving. I was New York, not home. Minnesota very far, and tickets airplane expensive. Morning I saw big parade Macy's, and later I ate neighbors bread and apple pie. Evening I talked in-telephone with family. Family was Minnesota. I go to Minnesota December.

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(Now the Cyrillic characters!)

Мой район очень хорошая. Моя улица красивая, и Парк Вашингтона рядом. Магазины тоже рядом. Спортзал близко; я плаваю там. я плаваю быстро! Почта очень болшая и недалеко. Я не знаю, где очень близкая аптека, но знаю что неплохая аптека недалеко.

My neighborhood very great. My street beautiful, and Park Washington nearby. Stores also nearby. Gym close; I swim there. I swim quickly! Post office very large and not far away. I don't know, where very close drugstore, but (I) know that not-bad drugstore not far away.

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Моя семья очень хорошая. Моя Мать серëзная и културная. Еë зовут Ким. Мой отец -- бизнисмен. У него свой бизнис. Его зовут Кэвин.

Моих братьев зовут Зак и Андру. Они школники. Они играют в футбол. Зак и Кэвин играют в шахматы. Зак -- талантливый пианист. Андру -- очень умный и энергичный.

My family very great. My mom thoughtful and cultured. Her (they) call Kim. My dad businessman. With him (he has) his own business. He (they) call Kevin.

My brothers (they) call Zach and Andrew. They schoolboys. They play soccer. Zach and Kevin play chess. Zach talented pianist. Andrew very smart and energetic.