A JOKE A DAY KEEPS ANNOYING PEOPLE AWAY...
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Our newest JOKE OF THE DAY comes from a long time fan (of us, rather than our website). He is also one of the few readers who has actually passed on our site to a few friends. We have MANY jokes to look forward to over the next few days, and a very nice list of funny pictures for you guys, as soon as we decide on how best to integrate his jokes into ours. We also received note that he may be putting up his own site (we’ll keep you updated as we get the news in). So yes, joke number FOURTY FOUR, which is being posted for your benefit while Star Wars plays on our TV, so consider yourselves lucky that you found our site in the first place, as most normal methods will land you in any number of other sites.
Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine years old and the other one is four years old. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for checkout. The cashier asks, "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?"
The nine-year-old replies "Nope, not for my mom."
Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?"
The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either."
The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister? Who are they for?"
The nine year old says, "They're for my four year old little brother."
The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?"
The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these, you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can't do either of them!"
Return to Joke of the DayToday’s JOKE OF THE DAY is another fan-submitted short-joke who would like to start making a name for himself as a comedian here in the city of New York. Not really, but he did give us permission to use add his joke to our site (well, he begged). So Kelvin, joke number FOURTY THREE’s for you! (Note: We are now using the term ‘short-joke’ as a general genre or category for one-lined jokes, which will usually be fan submitted, since we tend to look for more fulfilling jokes.)
What is a fish’s favorite drug?
Seaweed.
Return to Joke of the Day JOKE OF THE DAY number FOURTY TWO is a relatively long joke. It is part story, part informative, part teaching, and part funny… just kidding. It’s at least two parts funny. We don’t want to take up too much of your time reading our commentary, however awesome it may be, on account of how long this upcoming joke will be. We really like this joke though, and feel that we should warn you that it is a HIGHLY obscene, VERY inappropriate joke, and if you are weak hearted, or are part Krol, then you should probably consult your doctor before continuing. Seriously, it’s pretty bad, and you should skip down to number thirty five or so… whichever one is about God and his ‘second.’ We also had to translate this joke from British, so that our readers will be less confused, so please just let us know if there is anything unclear, and perhaps suggest a better version… or bugger off.
A young Connecticut man moved to New York and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked "Do you have any sales experience?" The young man answered "Yes, I was a salesman back in Greenwich." The manager liked the guy so he gave him the job.
His first day on the job was challenging and busy, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the manager came down and asked "Ok, so how many sales did you make today?" The man said "Just the one, Sir."
The manager groaned and continued "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?
"$251,237.64" replied the new salesman.
The manager choked and exclaimed "$251,237.64, what the hell did you sell him?"
"Well, first I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and then I sold him a new fishing rod.
Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down at the
coast, so I told him he would need a boat.
So we went down to the boat department and I sold him that twin-engined Power Cat.
Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the car sales and I sold him the 4 x 4 Range Rover".
The manager, incredulous, said "You mean to tell me....a guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and 4x4?"
"No, nah......he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his girlfriend and I said…
“Well, since your weekend's fucked already, you might as well go fishing."
Return to Joke of the DayHurray! Why are we cheering you might ask? Well, we have finally received our first user submitted JOKE OF THE DAY. Joke number FOURTY ONE was submitted by a reader who responded to our cry for jokes under the alias “Your Loving Sister”. While we here at Joke of the Dayare not sure if that name in itself is supposed to be a joke (all of our sisters would deny their relationship before admitting they loved us), we are still going to show our readers that ‘sisters’ are not all that great at telling jokes. Don’t believe us? Prove us wrong.
A guy walked into a bar…
Ouch.
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My email is MJZimmer88@aol.com
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