sunday, january 5

Being stoned is like this. It's like every nerve is radiating pleasure, warmth, comfort from the center of your being outwards into the world til everything glows and wavers like a mirage in the desert. Everything is soft, everything is gentle. It's like swimming, only without the effort. It's feeling outrageously good in a way you can't explain unless you've experienced it. I've been stoned for two days straight now, and when I'm like this I feel no pain. The anguish and suffering and mental shit I've been mired in for the past week is reduced to a background drone, a volume dial turned down to its lowest setting. And let me tell you, I am suffering in my life. I am suffering the pain of someone who is trying to keep the one person they love from leaving this world. But I don't want to talk about it now. Because I'm high, and it feels good. "Better than sex," Sick Boy said in Trainspotting. Well no. But in the absence of, I'm certainly not complaining. [10:19 PM]