On France.

France. What a bunch of hypocritical, self-righteous, pompous, enlightened, pricks. I hate them with all my appendages; visceral and vestigial. First, I don’t even kneed to mention it, but I will anyways cause I enjoy humiliating them further, but their whole existence is owed to us, (ironically, we owe a lot of our existence to them, but really its only to a few of their philosophers, who we can make honorary US citizens [even though they are dead], so we won’t generalize their accomplishments to the rest of the generally worthless French) period. On two consecutive occasions, Germany almost completely wiped them out. Even on the second, the French installed this insanely elaborate defense piece (known as the Maginot line) on their Eastern border with Germany, and the Germans just completely went around it by marching through Belgium and shit. We can do better than that, non?

Okay, so their war record blows, we all know this. But, the whole fuss they raised with us going into Iraq was completely uncalled for. First, the French by far lead the Western World in human rights abuses, but since it is in Africa, no one seems to care. We killed maybe 1000 Iraqi’s during the war (a war that really will improve their lot, maybe not soon, but in a few decades [be patient you ingrates!]. That is amazing (amazingly low). On the other hand, about 4 million people died in connection to French imperialism in Africa. That sucks! And not only that, the French have barely improved that area of the world. Everywhere that the US has gone into with full control has come out an economic (and if you argue that being industrialized is not always in the interest of the local people, you need to move to a third world country and continue bitching from there) powerhouse. This is for real (ie Japan, West Germany). We screwed up a lot when we did not have full control and had to support some ass lick dictators (ie Saudi’s, Columbia, Iran, etc), however. But rest assured, Iraq will kick ass in like fifteen years (people were saying the exact same shit about Germany and Japan the first few years, that it would fail and shit). France has not done an ounce of good for anyone. Not only that, but their whole opposition to the war in Iraq was completely bullshit, and they seriously deserve a huge slap (I’m thinking one of those long Scandanavian countries, like Sweden lifting up Austria out of the ground and nailing France right in the crotch). First to clarify, yes, Bush and in particular, Rumsfeld completely messed up with the diplomacy shit, and they should be taunted and ostracized and poked with thumbtacks forever for doing that, but the Iraqi National Congress dudes came out with a list of people who were cohorting with Saddam, meaning people who were striking shady ass quid pro quo deals with him for his oil while the rest of his people were starving, and the list was topped with a crapload of Russian and French bitches, not to mention the head UN dude in charge of the Oil for Food (aka Oil for Palaces) program. France literally was in bed with one of the worst human’s since Stalin. This shows of how high ‘moral fibre’ France is really constructed of. Hypocritical biznatches. They also sold some sensitive technology that we sold them, straight to China! The nerve of these bastards. And they bitch when we let our currency naturally depreciate. Oh, and they conduct nuclear bomb tests, not on their own land, but in the ocean. Come on now.

Okay, not only all this. One of France’s redeeming qualities besides it cuisine and philosophers, is its commitment to secularism, but they completely shitted the bed on that one too. They are banning all overtly religious symbols on people. That’s the grossest abuse of governmental power ever (well, within the last month). Secularism, as suite as it can be, sucks if the government is a bunch of pinko communists telling people what they can and can’t wear.

Oh, and just to mention that with Kosovo in 1999, France actually advocated bypassing the UN Security Council because Russia for some bizarre reason was supporting the human rights violatin Serbs, and they pushed for Bill Clinton (god bless him) to go in there are whoop some ass. It was the right thing to do, fo sho, but now that France is on the other side of the debate, they bitch and moan about bypassing the Security Council. How much does that reek of crapulence (not to mention armpit BO)? Of course, the only action France has bothered to take is to whine about shit, which it truly is an expert at.