On Diplomacy
Actually, this is going to be on drugs, but really, both are so interrelated, that it’s like the same thing. Fo shizzlés. I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher a while back and I recall Bill interviewing this ultra jacked Republican Senator from Virginia. Being a member of a political party, he predictably began to blindly spew whatever inane rhetoric party headquarters wrote out on some pamphlet. Anyway, Bill poignantly asks, if the prez claims we is fighting a war, shouldn’t the people of the US have to make sacrifices, like consuming less oil and being less a bunch of shallow dipshits, instead of laying all the sacrifice on the families of soldiers? To this question, the Senator randomnly retorted, “it is every american’s right to drive whatever they want, whether it be an SUV or car or whatever.” Never have I felt more proud to be an American then when that bold Virginia Senator proclaimed for all, in all his Jeffersonian like wit, our god given right to own Sport utility vehicles. History will surely remember kindly upon this great Virginia Senator.
So, what does this Senator’s comments have to do with drugs? Well, if it is every citizen’s right to drive what they want, regardless of the fact that SUV’s actually violate federal fuel emissions standards (which they can only do because SUVs are for some reason classified as trucks...trucks it turns out, have always been allowed to have such shitty fuel emissions standards in the first place, because as you’ve noticed from every single truck commercial ever, trucks have to carry such payloads as goats, wood, hay and dipshits up mountainous terrain constantly during inclement weather, making them utterly indispensible to the American way of life... the majority of SUV’s, oddly enough, are only indispensible to nothing more than some 105 pound anorexic female on a cell phone and 3 bags of soy milk in the trunk, as well as some poor, high postin black dudes who were tricked out of their earnings because Jermaine Dupri went on Cribs and said that playas need to be drivin Escalades constantly) and cause gross collective damage to the environment, the price of future clean up and health damages not even being accounted for in current gas prices (Ironically, oil prices are way above market prices anyways because OPEC does not pump out oil according to the market, but according to its own political agendas.{All right Arabs! You guys did something right for once. Western civilization: 19,435; Arabs: 14.) (uhh, I’m gonna start my beginning sentence again). Well, if its every citizen’s right to drive what they want, why don’t they have the right to put into their bodies whatever they want, let alone substances that don’t even harm them or anyone else. Eh. I’m too tired to write the rest of this.